It’s the new year, and I’ve been reflecting on how, one year ago, my life changed forever. I was relaxing with my family on New Year’s Day, talking about everything I wanted to accomplish in 2024…when I got the call from the ER in Tulsa that my mom had almost died. I was thrust into a journey that would be physically, emotionally, and financially draining over the next 12 months with someone I have a contentious and complicated relationship with. And I want to share a few things I’ve learned.

helping aging parents

What I’ve Learned by Helping an Aging Parent

I got a crash course in the healthcare system for seniors and learned to take planning for retirement a lot more seriously.

I have learned that there is a wide-ranging level of care in our country that favors the very wealthy or the very poor. I have learned that many seniors in our community have no one to help them navigate the system.

I have learned that it’s OK to cry in my car (or anywhere really).

I have learned that I’m not responsible for other people‘s choices in life.

helping aging parents

I have learned that almost everyone associated with the healthcare system will help you if you are kind.

I have learned that just because you are related to someone doesn’t mean you have to be like them.

I’ve learned that guilt is an incredible motivator.

I have learned to make space for myself and my needs whenever I can ( this is still in progress)

I have learned what I do and do not want to happen at the end of my life, but I also know that, ultimately, I have no control over it.

I have learned that I need to start prioritizing my health in the coming year.

I am slowly learning that it’s OK to ask for help and let others share your burdens.

I’ve learned that I’m a lot stronger than I think I am.

helping aging parents
I am incredibly grateful for the support systems I’ve had this year, especially my husband, Chris, who is the one person who keeps me grounded when things feel out of control. And thank you to this community for all your encouragement, shared experience, and support. I am hopeful good things are on the horizon in 2025 and look forward to a fresh start.