For the first time since I had Channing, a friend openly told me I was not invited to go do something fun because I should stay home with my daughter. Whoa. I know I’ve missed out on parties, and some events because I either needed to stay home with Chan, or wanted to because I was so tired. But I can honestly say this is the first time someone actually told me I wasn’t included because I have a kid.
I believe his exact words were, “it’s 18 and over only… I wouldn’t want to separate you two. Mother and daughter should stick together.” Again, whoa.
And it made me wonder, does motherhood have to mean missing out on parties?
Despite the clearly sexist implication that because I’m a mom I should stay home with my child, I think I was just really bummed at the perception that I can’t still be a person who does fun things without my daughter. A big part of the reason why I started Motherhood in Hollywood was so I could hold on to that part of myself that was getting lost in the mundanity of motherhood. Parents know what I’m talking about. When you have a kid your life can quickly disappear and become all about your child. And in some ways it should.
It’s really important for me to remember who I was before I had Chan in addition to who I am now and stay connected with grown-ups. I like to go out and have fun too where there’s no goldfish crackers and talk of using the potty!
Ultimately I know my friend didn’t mean to be a rude, sexist, jerk. Don’t worry I will pay him back in some way when he leasts expects it. It was just a reminder that I am definitely not the person I was before I had Channing, at least to other people. I’m forever Channing’s mommy. And that sounds like a pretty fun title to me.
