I once read about a company that mails poop to someone for you. I would like to say I was appalled. But in fact, I was totally into it. A poop package to your enemies AND friends? Where do I sign up? Sure they’ll be offended and grossed out, but the look on their face would be priceless. And that’s what Christmas is all about right?
So I started thinking about the crazy, weird, unusual gifts you CAN send to your friends and family for Christmas…but probably shouldn’t. Here are some Christmas gifts to avoid so you won’t be labeled a Grinch!
You can send your loved ones (or enemies) a package full of glitter. Now at first this might sound like a great gift. But if you think about it glitter is the most annoying substance to get off your clothes, hair, hands etc. No wonder strippers are so frustrated after a show! And you can always play dumb, like…”Oh I thought you would want to celebrate, something.”
The name alone makes me giggle with glee. Squatty Potty helps people poo easier. Gross. And while it is probably a really useful gift for some, I can’t help watching their commercial over and over again and thinking about ice cream. And buying a Squatty Potty. That’s some great marketing right there.
For the girl on the go who has to go (you’re welcome for that slogan!) GoGirl is a female urination device that let’s women go pee whenever, wherever nature calls. Like dudes. I’ll buy it if let’s me write my name in the snow.
4. Bacon Gum
In theory, this sounds amazing. But I have tried it and I can tell you it tastes like neither bacon nor gum. Buy at your own risk but make sure your recipient doesn’t get their hopes up. Still love the idea though! Mmmm…bacon gum….
Just because it will be hilarious to see your grandma holding this. Unless you have a dirty mind, then it will be very, very creepy.
6. Fruitcake
Seriously, who is still eating this stuff? Give this to a co-worker who won’t stop talking about her kid. Or your cousin Rhonda who will count the fruit as part of her new diet plan.
7. Prank Mail
This might be my favorite because I love pranks, even for the holidays. You can send someone an STD Center notification that they tested positive for the clap. Or a Sperm Deposit postcard. I don’t know why but my inner 15-year-old boy thinks these are hilarious. Holiday Pranks ya’ll!
Are these Christmas gifts to avoid? Probably. That’s just a few of the unusual gift ideas I have. What do you want to send someone for Christmas, but probably shouldn’t?
