For the first time since I had Channing, a friend openly told me I was not invited to go do something fun because I should stay home with my daughter. Whoa. I know I’ve missed out on parties, and some events because I either needed to stay home with Chan, or wanted to because I was so tired. But I can honestly say this is the first time someone actually told me I wasn’t included because I have a kid. I believe his exact words were, “it’s 18 and over only… I wouldn’t want to separate you two. Mother and daughter should stick together.” Again, whoa.
Despite the clearly sexist implication that because I’m a mom I should stay home with my child, I think I was just really bummed at the perception that I can’t still be a person who does fun things without my daughter. A big part of the reason why I started Motherhood in Hollywood was so I could hold on to that part of myself that was getting lost in the mundanity of motherhood. Parents know what I’m talking about. When you have a kid your life can quickly disappear and become all about your child. And in some ways it should. But it’s really important for me to remember who I was before I had Chan in addition to who I am now and stay connected with grown-ups. I like to go out and have fun too where there’s no goldfish crackers and talk of using the potty!
Ultimately I know my friend didn’t mean to be a rude, sexist, jerk. Don’t worry I will pay him back in some way when he leasts expects it. It was just a reminder that I am definitely not the person I was before I had Channing, no matter how much I try to fool myself into thinking otherwise. That’s just how the world see’s me now. I’m forever Channing’s mommy. And that sounds like a pretty fun adventure to me.